It seems we’ve collectively hit a slump in the past 10 years. Despite technological advancements and material abundance, many of us find ourselves yearning for something deeper, something more fulfilling. Over the past several decades, there’s been a noticeable decline in emotional well-being, greater focus on materialism, and a weakening of close familial and social ties. But how did we get here, and more importantly, how do we find our way out?
The rise of social media, circa 2008, marked a significant turning point. Platforms like Twitter and Instagram promised connection and community, yet paradoxically, they’ve left many feeling lonelier than ever. Arthur Brooks, a Harvard professor, PhD social scientist, #1 bestselling author, and columnist at The Atlantic, aptly describes social media as the “junk food of social life” – it provides quick, superficial satisfaction, but lacks the nourishment of genuine human connection. We scroll, we like, we comment, but the hunger for approval, acceptance, connection and a sense of belonging persists.
However, amidst this slump, there’s a glimmer of hope. People are increasingly seeking joy and happiness, recognizing the importance of emotional well-being over mere material success. Millennials have certainly played a significant role in bringing the importance of emotional well-being to the forefront. But how do we cultivate lasting joy in a world filled with fleeting pleasures and superficial pursuits?
Arthur Brooks encourages us to embrace our negative feelings rather than suppress them. Contrary to popular belief, these emotions serve a purpose – they keep us safe and alert, and they offer invaluable lessons for personal growth. Instead of shunning discomfort, we can learn from it, allowing it to guide us towards a deeper understanding of ourselves and our desires.
Years ago, therapy taught me the invaluable lesson of embracing my emotions and negative feelings. Instead of suppressing or avoiding them, I learned to embrace and understand them, which led me to profound insights into myself, my needs, and my true desires. This has enabled me to discover my identity revealing my innate virtues (empathy, humility, patience). As I embraced these virtues, I found that they resonated deeply with my core values, guiding me towards a life filled with happiness and fulfillment. Through this alignment of virtues and values, I discovered a profound sense of authenticity and purpose, paving the way for a journey of continued growth, connection, and joy.
Finding joy requires intentionality and inner reflection.
Ask yourself, what are your virtues and values that guide your daily life? Here are some questions to get you started:
- Meaning and Purpose: Do you feel a sense of purpose and meaning that extends beyond your daily routines and norms? Is there something more profound to contemplate? If so, what is it?
- Relationships: How do your relationships shape your identity and overall well-being? In what ways do your connections with others contribute to your sense of fulfillment and purpose? Do your relationships enrich your life with meaning and shared experiences, or do they leave you feeling disconnected?
- Existence: Do your actions resonate beyond the confines of your own existence? Are you channeling your potential towards a cause that surpasses personal gain?
The pursuit of pleasure, fame, and power may offer temporary highs, but true, lasting joy lies in the cultivation of virtues, values and the pursuit of meaning.
Living each day fueled by purpose, meaningful interactions, and virtuous desires aligned with values can help us navigate the slump and rediscover the richness of life in all its complexity.
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